Reasons My Toddler is Crying

Kids are crazy, man. And nothing is crazier than a toddler with a limited grasp on the english language and absolutely no impulse control. So, now presenting Ten Reasons My Toddler is Crying

1. She asked for a cheese stick so I took the wrapper off. I TOOK THE WRAPPER OFF.
2. I am trying to change her diaper. She would prefer to keep her dirty diaper on.
3. She wants to jump head first off the back of the couch. 
4. I am peeing and won’t hold her in the process. 
5. She threw her milk cup in frustration. She wants her milk cup. 
6. I wouldn’t let her lick the cart handle. 
7. I won’t give her a sip of my freshly brewed, piping hot coffee. 
8. She can’t pet the dog on TV. 
9. Frozen waffles have to be cooked before consumed. 
10. I insist she buckle her car seat straps. Every. Single. Time.